


place the blame (on anyone but me)

by artificialmac



Series: Miss Vanjie and Other Phrases to Say While Walking Backwards [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/M, Heavy Angst, M/M, Stream of Consciousness, Vanessa-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 04:56:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20334421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Vanessa was over him. She was. Now if only she can convince everyone else of that.





	place the blame (on anyone but me)

**Author's Note:**

> Did I make another drabble series for Vanessa even though I have like 17 unfinished WIPs. Yes, yes I did. What about it?

It isn’t his fault that he doesn’t want her.  
It isn’t his fault that he feels suffocated.  
It isn’t his fault that he made her fall in love with him.

No, it’s her fault.

It’s her fault for letting herself get this bent out of shape over another tall white boy with a pretty smile and a tragic past.  
It’s her fault for falling, stupidly falling, head over heels on national fucking television for a man who could only love her for the summer.

It’s her fault for thinking they could ever be friends.

She isn’t still hung up on him, much to the disbelief of her friends and fans. She isn’t.

He’s just comfortable to fall asleep against.  
He’s familiar.  
He’s safe.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be safe.

She isn’t hung up on him.  
Truly she isn’t.

They don’t want the same things. That’s it.

Much as she is a romantic, she knows they won’t work. So she doesn’t try.

And it isn’t his fault that he doesn’t want The Notebook.

It _is_ his fault that he comes to her.  
It _is_ his fault that he presses her against a dressing room door.  
It _is_ his fault that he leaves bruises the shape of hearts on her neck.

It is his fault for not being over it.

Vanessa was over it.  
Had been over it.

She had thought he was over it too.

But something must have shifted.

Maybe it was blasting their honeymoon phase to thousands of people to judge them for.

Maybe it was that he was stressed.  
Maybe it was just the alcohol.

Maybe he missed being suffocated.

Vanessa couldn’t be blamed for her reaction.

She woke up to bruises and marks on more than just her skin.

The memory of his hands still stung her eyes because they were so soft. So gentle. So familiar. So careful, so as to not break her (not that they succeeded in that regard).

She was over him until that moment. 

She was over his smile and his laugh and his stupid fucking voice. 

She was over him until he decided she couldn’t be.


End file.
